Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
