A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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