Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
