and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
