We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You may now shotgun with the bride
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
