next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
