i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
