stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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