I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
