It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize