i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize