As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
