Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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