I look better un-naked...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
