Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
