i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
