Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
