The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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