Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
