doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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