I want to have your abortion
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you didnt know i had herpes?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
