Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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