I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
