Do vagina's smell?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize