He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
