just come out here and I will go home with you...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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