Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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