I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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