I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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