i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
