I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
