SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize