No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize