Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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