party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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