U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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