My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
