I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
