Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
