Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
