East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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