Nicole vs. Life
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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