they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
