Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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