But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
