At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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