i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
