I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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