don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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