well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
