Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
