how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
