If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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