I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
