i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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