He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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