Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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