HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize