i will never coherently bang her
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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