honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he shaved USA in his pubs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
