Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
